Forgive yourself

I have felt a little bit like a failure, yet again, in regards to my diet because I have been straying off of my strict course since my knee surgery.  I have been so incredibly committed to myself for the past few months that since, for the past 10 days roughly, I have been eating whatever I want, I felt like I failed.  Failed myself yet again.

It took me a few days to process it.  With the constant support from my husband, who always tells me how beautiful I am, I finally processed it all today and came to my conclusion – who cares that I had a few day lapse in strict eating, I had surgery and have gone through a lot!  I have to cut myself a break sometimes (so much easier said than done for me because I am my absolute harshest critic).

So I write this as a renewed commitment to myself.  I am back on board with caring for myself and being conscious of my choices.  I will not dwell on the small mistakes I have made but I will rather celebrate all of the progress I have made.  I will continue to work hard because I am worth working hard for.  If we don’t make ourselves a priority, aren’t our priorities out of whack?

I look forward to being able to work out and move my body soon, after I become more mobile and continue to heal.  So not only do I have my renewed sense of self to be happy about today but I also have the upcoming arrival of my Mom, who is visiting us on Friday!  And I also have The Bachelorette on tonight and it starts in 5 minutes.  The only thing that would make tonight better would be having my husband at home with me (I miss him a lot since he is at work).  Cheers and goodnight ♥

Morning phone calls and our self-image

Since I am off work due to my recent knee surgery, I have been receiving a few phone calls from coworkers.  These phone calls include supervisors calling to check on my status as well as fellow workers calling to just say hi.  I received a phone call this morning from a particularly interesting coworker, who started the conversation by saying he wanted to dispel a rumor he had heard at work.

I recently started working at a new assignment (under the same umbrella company) about six months ago and at this new place, there is a vacancy in one of the offices.  This vacant job opening comes with a different work load but it is desirable to a lot of my coworkers.  Because of this desirability, people are pining for the position.  In my early morning phone call today, the rumor that “Joe” (let’s call him Joe) wanted to dispel, or prove true for that matter, was if I was going to assume that new job upon my return from work in a month or two.

I found this whole conversation annoying.  Joe is not a true friend at all.  In fact, he tried to hit on me a few months ago (that’s an entirely different blog post about how disrespectful and rude that is to both myself and my husband).  Joe was just trying to mine information from me this morning, if I was in fact going to take the job.  Which I don’t think I am.  I haven’t been approached by anyone at work about the job, although I would be a fairly obvious choice, based on my prior experience, which is ideal for the position.  And I would take the job if they gave it to me, because I am a firm believer in not passing up an opportunity.

Joe complained to me during the conversation about how he and a few others have been passed up for this position, and a couple other coveted spots, for quite a while now.  He said that it isn’t fair to be picked over and that the boss should ultimately choose him or one of the other unsuitables for these roles.

What Joe doesn’t get is that he is the absolute worst choice for all of the open positions and he will never be chosen.  He is rude, outspoken in a mean, obnoxious way, and doesn’t play well with others.  That sentence right there should disqualify you from most work environments.  What Joe also doesn’t get is that he shouldn’t be chosen just because he has worked there for a long time or because he “deserves it.”  I don’t believe that anyone should be given something solely based on longevity or because someone feels badly for you.  You should fight for it and earn it based on true merit, nothing less.

What strikes me about the whole thing is that Joe really thinks he deserves it.  He doesn’t see what everyone else around him sees about him and in his mind, he is the ideal candidate.  In his mind, the boss is wrong and “they just don’t get it.”  That got me thinking…isn’t it interesting how the rest of the world views you?  Is our view of ourselves similar to or exactly what others see? Or is our view of ourselves much further from the real truth?

The conversation with Joe this morning bothered me but it got me thinking.  I know I deserve that job and I just might get it when I return to work.  I wonder what Joe will have to say about that.