I can’t put words around my feelings
that fit the wholes inside my brain
I try so hard to find the meaning
of what is going on with him.
And then I lost my fucking mind and feared I’d never get it back
Crawling outta my god damn skin, caught in the best panic attack.
Sitting frozen on the couch
Waiting for him to come carry me
Out of the feelings that I’m feeling
and back to me just being me.
Thoughts flooding my confused emotion
A million fears keep creeping in
If I can’t stop this flooded ocean
I might drown right now, I’m dead.
And then I lost my fucking mind and feared I’d never get it back
Crawling outta my god damn skin, caught in the best panic attack.
Now several weeks have passed us by
And I still feel just all the same
Grateful for him beyond all words
Wouldn’t wanna thing to change.
Right before I lost my fucking mind and feared I’d never get it back
Crawling outta my god damn skin, I escaped the best panic attack.
Writer’s note: This poem was written on November 29, 2019, in the midst of a very transformative experience with Hugo by my side. I can still hear the music that goes to the words as I sing it out loud. If you, the reader, happens to be a singer and/or musician capable of strumming a simple guitar chord, please message me. I would love to hear this set to the beat I have in my head.
